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Thelastgameyouwilleverplay
"Thelastgameyouwilleverplay" (referred to by some as The Final Challenge) is the final CqnQn Cqstles Quest that can ever possibly be completed. Only the Top 11.7021276596 Percent are confirmed to have attempted this quest. 12th and 13th places, Can_You_Stop and humOr, respectively, also claimed to have attempted this quest in the Joint LQG, however the legitimacy of their claim is disputed amongst players. All players who have attempted (or claimed to have attempted) this final quest recount traumatic experiences of differing degree. Description "Thelastgameyouwilleverplay", according to 2nd place spooner94, demands that players "...find out whoever the host of this dumb game is. They throw you through hoops and try to get you to bend over backwards and pick your own toenails, I-- I don't know, it's stupid. Trying to... trying to, uhm, remember the shit that they make you do is kinda... I don't know. Who's all gonna see this?" "Thelastgameyouwilleverplay" simply asks the player to confidently identify the host. Once a player completes this quest, they will instantly win the entire game, as the DQPE point value is listed as 1,111,111,111. Individual Testimonies 13th place: humOr (Disputed) I woke up and my bed was wet, and I found out that the last mission ever, in the entire game, was ready for me to beat. I was thrilled, then I started remembering this dream I had last night where I was tied to a drum of oil that someone lit on fire, and I couldn't stop screaming. Oh, man, I banged my head so hard against the wall to get rid of the feeling. You know that feeling? It's anxiety. Pure, pure, ''the ''purest form of anxiety. If only the host of this goddamn game would come out and tell me who he is, so I can turn in this quest. I wanna win. You know when something seems so out of reach, it's like whatever, right? Well, now, here it is. I want it. None of you are gonna take this from me. 12th place: Can_You_Stop? (Disputed) If you ask me, I think ninety-three quests is enough. One more jarring midnight quest ''would ''kill me. The nights I lost playing this game... I won't go into gory detail. I know that you'd like me to, but if I'm being honest, I haven't the time. Although, it would strengthen my case if I gave you as detailed an anecdote as I possibly can. You see, some people over the LQG don't take my word for it. I see no reason why, but I assume the further I speculate on the collective dubious conscience aimed my way, the more suspicious I become. Right, then. You're familiar with familiar faces? I thought you would be. Imagine if you looked at a face you'd seen all your life, and there was just ''something ''awry that had you second guessing every single time you looked at that face. I can't even look at my closest friends without squinting. Something just isn't right. My theory is, this is how the host manipulates the conscience, and prevents you and I from correctly identifying him via countenance. I'd like to think that if I saw the host in public, I'd instantly know it was he, and victory would come with a side of tea and cake. Not anymore, however. Not anymore. 11th place: mehstofthebest (Confirmed) Ugh, I'm not the best rememberer sic of the truth, so I hope you're gonna be able to sit through my long talking that kinda trails off and doesn't really go anywhere. But I think I'm gonna have my own attention captured, because this shit is scary. I've been claustrophobic since my mom stuck my head inside her purse to shut me the fuck up inside a Niccolini's. I start breathing real heavy, and blinking, and if the walls feel like they're gonna crush me, I scream like the devil beating his son. So when I got the memo that my first couple hints to beating the ninety-fourth challenge were crammed inside a spelunking sight, I was ready to quit on the spot. Although, I will say, after hours of crying and screaming and digging around this cave that I wasn't supposed to be in, I found my first couple hints! I think I might've gained new faith in beating this shitty game. The host only knows what other shit I'm gonna have to do to cop a hint. 10th place: HAM (Confirmed) HE SLAPPED MY MOM AND FUCKED MY DAD AND PUT MY GOLDFISH IN A BAG AND THEN THREW IT AT MY CEILING FAN.